Archive for January, 2022

January 6, 2022

Customer said her momma was “her to the twentieth power”, was her “but even laughinger and louder.” Daughter was with the government and a go-getter — not much like her.

Bonjourno! I said to customer, arms open, having seen an Italian movie the previous night. Buongiorno! she replied (i.e., like an actual Italian person) having lived for ten years in Sardinia.

January 5, 2022

Power in customer’s building had gone out. Customer said he had been aware of that fact when he’d called the cab company only what he didn’t figure on was that the elevators wouldn’t be working. Now he had to walk seven flights down – and it was a good thing, at his age, it was not seven flights up…. Yes, he did manage to get to the cab in time, because it is a rule with the company that they have to wait ten minutes for a client to appear before they can leave.

January 4, 2022

Customer: did attendant have any insight on “hot investments”? Attendant: Index funds. What did customer think of crypto-currency? Customer: had a small amount in it that kept going up. It was the future. Nobody paid cash for anything anymore and crypto-currency was a sort of symbol of that. Cashless society equaled crypto-currency. Logical extension of how everything’s going digital.

To every “pure one” there’s an “anti-pure one”, just for laughs, — We’re all to blame.

January 3, 2022

Who do we feel is to blame? Not the one who sought to maximize their frequent flier miles and credit card points “making the system work for them”; not the simple ones who believed what they were told; not the rich ones, who are not rich because they have been wise; not the smart ones, who because they are smart about one thing, think themselves smart about the other things; so who do we feel is to blame? (all of us.) Who do we feel is to blame? (all of us.) Who are we to jeer at, ridicule, because they and not we have done this? (Again.) But surely with my low carbon footprint I can take on airs and account myself pure? (To every “pure one” there’s an “anti-pure one”, just for laughs, and serving as a counterweight. — We’re all to blame.)

January 3, 2022

Attendant at home wanted to describe his bed, which was so beautiful the way its twisted sheets contrasted with the twisted jeans he had thrown across them, but didn’t have time to describe it, because he was falling on it. “I have at last discovered a hard limit to the descriptive powers of poetic consciousness…!” was his concluding thought.

January 1, 2022

Customer: do you believe all these people who won’t take the vaccine for religious reasons? Attendant: didn’t that used to be part of Christianity? Think of the saints and the deprivation they underwent. How vulnerable they made themselves. That was a part of faith. Customer: true, but we’ve advanced from those times.