Fingercise with the health bar

You must forgive me if my constitution is so implacably hale and so vitally active as to sometimes prevent me from writing in a quite legible or intelligible manner, though truth to tell, I really consider the first objective of writing to be “fingercise” more than any such weakly traditional objectives as “communicating clearly” or “documenting accurately.”

Fingercise definition: fingercise is the exercising of the fingers, using a Health Bar, in such manner as will promote their continued health, strength, breadth and all around growth, with the aim of one day having Superhands — hands that could as easily crush books in their grip as write them.(A “Health Bar” is known by Weak Men as a pen.)

It’s always been a source of amazement to me that writers, who must have the most powerful hands of all the world, the most powerful grips ever witnessed in history –- certainly the most powerful in the history of this world — appear to spend so much of their time creating books and such little time crushing them, in displays of real power, – which is a very strange application of their finger strength! Come on you authors, we’re tired of your so-called thoughts — why not show us what you’ve really got? Why not show, with your health bar, your true power?

Not just this, but the constant scraping of my lower hand against the table and paper has given this area an extraordinary super toughness, comparable to the leathery hide of the wildebeast. And If I should ever be caught in a theater fire, such flame retardant toughness has the bottom palmar parts of my hands attained to, I should simply lead the crowd out behind my outstretched arm. Now how’s does that compare, you authors, to your punily intelligible “thoughts”!

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