Can the waxen ball be unwound or reversed so as to reveal a written-on waxen tablet? Can a day become a written account of a day?
“I remember this place,” my dad had said that time I took him on a field trip from his memory care facility back to his own house of three decades. “Oh, this place!” he had said in a child-like voice of wonderment. And that’s what I say to myself these days in a voice I pretend is the dog’s — “I remember this place” — whenever he rediscovers one of his old sniffing haunts.
God and Mammon was the theme of the homily last Sunday, the former customer reported. We all want to make money but we have to put God first, he said, which was a phrase that stuck with me the next day. We have to put what is first first, I thought, for when we don’t, the things that are last (social media to give an instance) will predominate.
Now I’m doing a 2+ minute plank at Fletcher’s Cove, and as the pain of it increases so does my awareness of this small patch of earth my body enframes. I see a tiny black ant, a couple even tinier red things moving… the curling green and blond grass blades below grow finer and more involved as the pain does. Meanwhile, small bees have alit in my shadow and are weaving their flight around my spread limbs.
It is more the imagined pain, inspired by the presence of bees, than the real pain, inspired by maintaining the stress position, that causes me to break out of that stance after 2 minutes, but it is interesting to reflect on how those forces, the real and imagined, can at times join together to make one relent.